Last day of school and Memorial Day Weekend

Mrs. Scarlett and girls

So Cute.. Carly Jo and Mrs Palmer

Some of Mckenna's class

Do you see an extra one in there?

 It's Phoebe !

Tangled is so captivating

Pickering Picnic

what are you guys up to?

Fun Day!

Cousin Ben is such a cutie

Hey there Jeff!

She is a Princess!

Taylor

I know she isn't a senior, but I really wanted to get EVERY season, for her senior pictures. She is so beautiful and technically she will be a Senior in 2 weeks or so... so what the heck.

We went to Loose Park, along with, may I say, half of Kansas City. There were beautiful brides...and not so beautiful brides, if we are being honest, and there were a TON of prom dates. It was really sweet..and a popular place for a reason, it is beautiful.

 Her smile is so amazing! I love it.

I feel melancholy looking at them.. she is so beautiful and so GROWN UP.. how did that happen? And wow was it fast! My little Tader is growing up into a fine young lady. Proud of you kiddo!










I know this one isn't of Taylor but it was so precious I had to post it.

Wendy has some really great ideas for other shots of Taylor, but we will have to wait till her baby is born... he is due in JUNE and she is out taking pictures...good times...I say.

Simplymoore@comcast.net (just in case you want it!)

Mommy Guilt

I can't wait till summer, I miss cuddling with my kids in the mornings.

 I miss hanging out with them all day with nothing to do except clean the house and make dinner for when Dad comes home.

 I miss the carefree days of summer and I cannot wait till they are here.. 28 more days.

This semester has been so terrible I feel like I have missed so much...

With everything that has been going on this year I am ready for a break. I hope my kids know I love them, and that they are my priority.

I hope they know that without them..NONE of this is worth anything.

I hope they know I love their faces... and their stinky feet!

Mommy guilt .. sucks.

Shoes

I will admit I have an unholy union with shoes.. I love them.. I have a least 4 pairs in my closet that I have only worn once.. or never worn...this is not about MY shoes..this is about the shoes I hate...

MY CHILDREN'S shoes....

They never can find them.. WHY OH WHY can you never find your shoes? They never fit.. even if I just bought them.. they grow so fast... and Jayme is pretty picky so if it tugs, pokes, rubs, shines, scuffs, freys or as you will read..WRINKLES...she is over the edge and has no desire to wear them. (sometimes flat out refuses) Even though they wear the same size, Carly Jo would NEVER be allowed to wear Jayme's shoes or visa versa...DON'T even THINK it..

This being said, I went out on Friday and bought new shoes for each of my children.. flip flops and cute little tennis shoes. Because I am SICK to death of.. "where are my shoes?" "These hurt" blah blah blah you get my point. FRIDAY....

Fast forward to today... MONDAY. Wake up at 6:45...sing the morning song...time to get up and get dressed...Carly Jo can't find her shoes...and she can find ONE flip flop. Jayme is irritated because the tongue on her shoe is wrinkled and she wants to wear her flip flops.. (can't it is PE day)(AND RAINING). repeat.. her shoe is WRINKLED... WRINKLED???? Annabelle can't get her shoes on, she is trying to force them on the wrong feet. McKenna is dressed and being an angel..muuuuahhh love you Kenna.

We searched for Carly Jo's shoes until 7:55...we are supposed to leave the house at 7:45. In the process I have dumped out every toy box, I have looked behind every couch, under every bed, looked in every closet. I even sent Carly jo outside to see if she left them out...(it's raining remember?) insert parenting award. I was turning into a BANCHEE....

Finally, trying to get the kids  in the car.. Carly jo is standing in the den with no shoes on.. I said.." are you SERIOUS? WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES? DIDN'T YOU WEAR THEM TO GRANDMAS LAST NIGHT?" ... blank stare..."no I wore kenna's flip flops" (insert peanut gallery) "No you didn't Carly Jo, I wore my flip flops"....

Suddenly.. with a flick of the head a light bulb went off in Carly Jo's head...she jumped up and ran into the other room...
Comes out with her tennis shoes.

"WHERE.... WERE.... THEY?"

behind the tub....she wanted to make sure no one else touched them.....

BEHIND THE TUB.....of course, makes total sense and probably the only place in the house I didn't' look...

She is going to be the death of me.

(Now I have to go clean up the toy box mess I made this morning....)

And then there is this...

I always knew that Carly Jo was a special one. It seems like from the first day she was with us there has just been ... something about her. As she became a toddler it was OBVIOUS she was going to be a doozy. Always getting into things..going a mile a minute watching every move we made and most of all... NOT overly impressed with the tv, movies, computer. She always is the one in trouble always the one that is living on the edge of that very last nerve of mine. SUPER sweet..super sensitive...and smart..but..not very attentive or an easy learner.

So it really wasn't a shock that in our last parent teacher conference the teacher indicated that she was worried that something wasn't "clicking" in Sweet Carly Jo's brain. Perhaps we should consider getting her tested for ADD. Don't they say that about every kid who doesn't fit the mold? Well..normally I would say yes, but I don't think this teacher is "one of those" as a matter of fact I am quite sure she isn't. And I truly believe she has Carly Jo's best interest in mind and only wants the very best for her. So that helps..

AND PLUS... well I have been living with Carly Jo for 6 years now so, I get it.

Even though that should have been a DUH moment... it still hurt. Who wants to admit that something might be "broken" in their child? Who wants to admit that there is a chance that everything academically is going to be a challenge, a struggle and a fight? Surely not me...but it is time..or is it? Truth is, I love this little kid to the point of actual pain. She is completely unbelievable, at times..not so much in a good way..but most of the time..she is just...I can't explain it. You just really have to know her to fully appreciate...

But back to ADD....

I have no idea where to even start, do I start at the Primary Dr.? And then what do I say? "My 6 year old is having a hard time concentrating." That seems a little ridiculous. Yet it is apparent to me, and everyone around that there is an issue that should be addressed in some capacity.  Do I take her to a phsycologist? A Neurosurgeon? Does it have to be solved with drugs, there has to be a better way..but if drugs end up being the only way.. then can I find a way to be okay with that?

I am going to try and cut out the gluten in our diets..but that is WAAAAY easier said than done. I can also cut out on the processed sugars, there isn't much of that anyway.

I am reading a book now, that a friend gave me on Friday, called Different Learners. That seems like a pretty good place to start, we will see if I can get some good stuff out of there.

I have to find peace with whatever I do, and find a way to find comfort in the fact that we will do the right thing for Carly Jo. And get over this horrible feeling in my gut...is it..Failure? is it defeat? Sadness?

I don't know. I guess I didn't REALLY expect for all my kids to come out perfect....did I? Didn't I?  DIDN'T I??

I read somewhere that most of the worlds top businessmen and inventors have ADD
Some also claim that - Beethoven, Da Vinci, Ansel Adams and Hans Christian Anderson - are all thought to have had it as well...Maybe it is a sign of Genius...

Motherhood

Sitting in the Drs. office waiting for Taylor to finish up her appointment. This office has no internet so I can’t do my homework.. 

it is Tuesday (you know what that means) no kids to bug me, my time for a shower, or to drink coffee in peace and quiet, to reflect, to do homework or clean my house..something by myself for myself to center me in my crazy world. Yet here I sit.  I have been here doing nothing for 45 whole minutes. I HATE wasting my “no kid time.”

SOO, I  blog. ... normally I am not a Dr. kind of girl. I don’t take my kids to monthly well baby checks, I never have. I don’t know how big their heads were or what percentage they were in their age groups at 3, 4, and 5 months. When they have an earache I give them sweet oil in the ear and Tylenol and wait for the body to heal itself, it normally does. UTI’s are the exception to this rule. My girls are prone and those things just flat suck so, we get those straightened out right away. And of course there is the allergy shots, but those cannot be avoided either since Carly Jo is allergic to every tree, every weed, every mold spore and ever dust mite. (did you know there were two types? Well, there is some free education.) I am very happy to say she is not allergic to any food. (even though I started her on milk before the Dr.’s suggested time)  

ANYWAY, where was I? Oh yes, we are on a one time a year schedule, yearly check ups so they can tell me everything is great and my kids are growing nice and tall. I get one, Jim gets one, all the kids get one too!

So that being said, I have the hardest time when one of my kids is complaining about something...should I take them to the Dr. or should I load them up with vitamins and see what happens. Taylor has been complaining about her lower back hurting (left side no appendix scares. So I gave her some ibuprofen and an icepack and told her it was a pulled muscle most likely. Fast forward to day 3, she has woken me up at 4 am for the last two night almost in tears.. okay probably not a pulled muscle, so here we are. 

I am waiting to see what the diagnosis is and to find out, if indeed, I should have just taken her to the Chiropractor,should have skipped the Dr. and should be drinking a Chai Latte right now

It is so hard to know. 


As mother’s we really are expect to have some sort of advanced medical degree, Mom, my leg hurts, whats wrong? Mom, do I need stitches? Mom, how many Advil can I take? Mom, my tummy hurts. Mom, what is this rash? Mom, get this splinter out. 


There are two paths we can follow. Either we become neurotic and drag them to the Dr.. for every sniffle, runny nose, ache and pain ...OR we ignore them and shove them full of vitamins only to realize that they have had Acute Bronchitis for the last month. Both are bad, where is the happy medium? Where is my handbook?  Seriously I think a ton has to be said about following my instincts, but what if they fail me? Sometimes mommy guilt is so overwhelming. 

BUT..back to now... we are at the Dr. and I am waiting, waiting to see if Taylor has a kidney stone, a bladder infection, a pulled muscle or if she just needs to stop drinking monsters and drink more water because she is dehydrated, or stretch before she does her daily 3 mile walk around Overland Park. Part of me is thinking that this had better be serious because I am giving up my two hours of "me time" to sit here in this waiting room, breathing germs and sickness into my body and bathing in antibacterial gel. But the other part is asking the universe to make sure this ISN'T serious. I want my child healthy and happy so she will be able to MOVE OUT OF MY HOUSE, go to college and live a long  and prosperous life, because without that none of this matters.

So annoying. 

I never wanted to be a nurse or a chemist..or detective but motherhood has thrust all these jobs upon me and then some. It is alright though....the pro's still out weigh the cons, for now. 


Check back with me in 10 years that will be the tell.

Anticipation is Making Wait

Some of you might know that I have been going to school at JCCC and have applied to the ASL Interpreters Program. I started my first classes January 2010 and at the end of this semester,  I will have had classes for 17 straight months getting all the necessary pre-reqs out of the way. I am down to my last two..Algebra and a health class. (Health.. yes .. we can talk about that later) I am also taking intermediate  ASL (to keep my skills up and ready)

Well, I got an email last week that I have an interview on Tuesday. I am more than excited, and nervous. Problem is, I have a reoccurring dream that has been haunting me since I got that email.
I am sitting in the interview room with people looking at the people interviewing me and they ask me what my name is...I start signing and.. my fingers freeze. They cramp and get stuck together and no matter what I do I can't get them moving. It is torture and embarrassing, I spend the rest of the dream trying to convince them that I really can sign the alphabet and I do know how to spell my name. But it is too late, and then I wake up.

Is that the interpreter student's version of standing in front of a crowd and realizing you are naked? I have no idea, but I hate that dream. I have been practicing every chance I get..just making sure my fingers work. Today Carly Jo and I worked on the alphabet, she is getting pretty good and my fingers didn't freeze up one time.

The anticipation of this situation is getting to me, I am ready to start a new path, learn my fate and face the future of my new career. All that is standing in the way is this tiny little interview and all the other people who have applied for the program.  How easy it is to wonder if I am good enough, if I have done enough. How hard it is to not jump up and down yelling PICK ME PICK ME!

There are only 30 spots, maybe one is mine. Seems very daunting, and I feel ready to start.  As the time creeps up I feel myself stressing out, the waiting..oh the waiting.

Once the interview is over then I can relax because it is all out of my hands. I am sure I won't though. I won't relax until I get that certified letter in the mail saying...welcome to the ITP program at JCCC....

But the good news is no matter what, I am not taking any classes this summer. ONE HUGE break is coming and welcomed. whoot whoot!