Motherhood

Sitting in the Drs. office waiting for Taylor to finish up her appointment. This office has no internet so I can’t do my homework.. 

it is Tuesday (you know what that means) no kids to bug me, my time for a shower, or to drink coffee in peace and quiet, to reflect, to do homework or clean my house..something by myself for myself to center me in my crazy world. Yet here I sit.  I have been here doing nothing for 45 whole minutes. I HATE wasting my “no kid time.”

SOO, I  blog. ... normally I am not a Dr. kind of girl. I don’t take my kids to monthly well baby checks, I never have. I don’t know how big their heads were or what percentage they were in their age groups at 3, 4, and 5 months. When they have an earache I give them sweet oil in the ear and Tylenol and wait for the body to heal itself, it normally does. UTI’s are the exception to this rule. My girls are prone and those things just flat suck so, we get those straightened out right away. And of course there is the allergy shots, but those cannot be avoided either since Carly Jo is allergic to every tree, every weed, every mold spore and ever dust mite. (did you know there were two types? Well, there is some free education.) I am very happy to say she is not allergic to any food. (even though I started her on milk before the Dr.’s suggested time)  

ANYWAY, where was I? Oh yes, we are on a one time a year schedule, yearly check ups so they can tell me everything is great and my kids are growing nice and tall. I get one, Jim gets one, all the kids get one too!

So that being said, I have the hardest time when one of my kids is complaining about something...should I take them to the Dr. or should I load them up with vitamins and see what happens. Taylor has been complaining about her lower back hurting (left side no appendix scares. So I gave her some ibuprofen and an icepack and told her it was a pulled muscle most likely. Fast forward to day 3, she has woken me up at 4 am for the last two night almost in tears.. okay probably not a pulled muscle, so here we are. 

I am waiting to see what the diagnosis is and to find out, if indeed, I should have just taken her to the Chiropractor,should have skipped the Dr. and should be drinking a Chai Latte right now

It is so hard to know. 


As mother’s we really are expect to have some sort of advanced medical degree, Mom, my leg hurts, whats wrong? Mom, do I need stitches? Mom, how many Advil can I take? Mom, my tummy hurts. Mom, what is this rash? Mom, get this splinter out. 


There are two paths we can follow. Either we become neurotic and drag them to the Dr.. for every sniffle, runny nose, ache and pain ...OR we ignore them and shove them full of vitamins only to realize that they have had Acute Bronchitis for the last month. Both are bad, where is the happy medium? Where is my handbook?  Seriously I think a ton has to be said about following my instincts, but what if they fail me? Sometimes mommy guilt is so overwhelming. 

BUT..back to now... we are at the Dr. and I am waiting, waiting to see if Taylor has a kidney stone, a bladder infection, a pulled muscle or if she just needs to stop drinking monsters and drink more water because she is dehydrated, or stretch before she does her daily 3 mile walk around Overland Park. Part of me is thinking that this had better be serious because I am giving up my two hours of "me time" to sit here in this waiting room, breathing germs and sickness into my body and bathing in antibacterial gel. But the other part is asking the universe to make sure this ISN'T serious. I want my child healthy and happy so she will be able to MOVE OUT OF MY HOUSE, go to college and live a long  and prosperous life, because without that none of this matters.

So annoying. 

I never wanted to be a nurse or a chemist..or detective but motherhood has thrust all these jobs upon me and then some. It is alright though....the pro's still out weigh the cons, for now. 


Check back with me in 10 years that will be the tell.

Pickering Talent...

You know..sometimes you are just born with it, some people are just doomed to be famous. I wonder if I should get her an agent.  This is going to be fun but I am not looking forward to paparazzi on my lawn.

Impressed aren't you, I am so proud.

My guy

Marriage is hard. 

Life throws curve balls, and sometimes things don't turn out like we hope. 

But for better or worse, this is my guy. 

He is pretty awesome. 

Thanks for neglecting all "your stuff" this weekend to work on mine! 

I love you, Jimmy. 

Anticipation is Making Wait

Some of you might know that I have been going to school at JCCC and have applied to the ASL Interpreters Program. I started my first classes January 2010 and at the end of this semester,  I will have had classes for 17 straight months getting all the necessary pre-reqs out of the way. I am down to my last two..Algebra and a health class. (Health.. yes .. we can talk about that later) I am also taking intermediate  ASL (to keep my skills up and ready)

Well, I got an email last week that I have an interview on Tuesday. I am more than excited, and nervous. Problem is, I have a reoccurring dream that has been haunting me since I got that email.
I am sitting in the interview room with people looking at the people interviewing me and they ask me what my name is...I start signing and.. my fingers freeze. They cramp and get stuck together and no matter what I do I can't get them moving. It is torture and embarrassing, I spend the rest of the dream trying to convince them that I really can sign the alphabet and I do know how to spell my name. But it is too late, and then I wake up.

Is that the interpreter student's version of standing in front of a crowd and realizing you are naked? I have no idea, but I hate that dream. I have been practicing every chance I get..just making sure my fingers work. Today Carly Jo and I worked on the alphabet, she is getting pretty good and my fingers didn't freeze up one time.

The anticipation of this situation is getting to me, I am ready to start a new path, learn my fate and face the future of my new career. All that is standing in the way is this tiny little interview and all the other people who have applied for the program.  How easy it is to wonder if I am good enough, if I have done enough. How hard it is to not jump up and down yelling PICK ME PICK ME!

There are only 30 spots, maybe one is mine. Seems very daunting, and I feel ready to start.  As the time creeps up I feel myself stressing out, the waiting..oh the waiting.

Once the interview is over then I can relax because it is all out of my hands. I am sure I won't though. I won't relax until I get that certified letter in the mail saying...welcome to the ITP program at JCCC....

But the good news is no matter what, I am not taking any classes this summer. ONE HUGE break is coming and welcomed. whoot whoot!

Told Ya today would be fun.

If you weren't at the KC Zoo today, you might have been the only one.

I wish .. I wish...

Sometimes I can't believe that I did this...these are mine.

It was a great day for hanging out with the kiddos!

oh this face...

Sisters

HA..here is proof that I OWN helmets

Giving big sis a push

brrrum...brrrum

 These precious little babies that are driving me crazy...will one day be grown up and too cool to hang with momma, and I will be sad. But until then, we will keep having fun days like today.

Spring Break has Sprung

I love breaks, Spring break, Christmas break and Summer break is my very fav.

HOWEVER, we are on break right now and the one part of it that I do not love is that...today was the grocery shopping day, which means I had to go..with. ALL. OF. THE. KIDS. sigh

If I had been smarter, or had more food in the house, I would have just scratched the idea from the git go. This is what happened when we were getting shoes on.

looks like a face of full cooperation...

Costco was the second place we went and by far...the most painful. At least 4 women looked at me with pity and said something along the lines of.."I forgot about spring break" or "must be spring break" I even got a "God Bless You" as my kids were "ice skating" down the aisles.
Annabelle decided that, in the middle of me checking out, she had to poop, and there was no waiting. EMERGENCY!!!  So I sent all the girls to go to the bathroom with her.
Now, you might be reading this judging me for letting my children go into the bathroom alone, but

1) there is only one way in and one way out
2) Mckenna is 8
3) I was almost finished.

Hopefully though..you have been in one of these situations and you are just feeling bad for me at this point and not judging.

I was almost done paying when Mckenna came out. Annabelle was on the toilet and needed to be wiped. and she was YELLING from the stall.."mommy wipe me". (can I get a poor Christi here?)

While I was wiping the butt of my youngest, Carly Jo was playing with the electric dryer, making the most noise possible. Hands in, hands out..hands in, hands out... and Jayme was complaining that a lady had brought her two sons into the girls bathroom. This lady, by the way was judging, she was giving me the "I can't believe you let your kids in here alone" and "man I am a way better mother than you" look.
Whatever lady..your kid is like 14, I think he can pee by himself. (slight exaggeration perhaps)

When we were ALMOST free,  the lady at the door decides that.. even though I have been there 2 times a month (minimum) for the last ohh...8 years or so..she should check my cart and make sure she really does count every item. She even stopped counting to say.."kids, I can't count the items if you are standing in the way" ARE YOU JOKING RIGHT NOW?? Give me my damned receipt and let me out of this store. (if I was going to try and steal something, it wouldn't be the day I have four children, acting as though they are in some serious need of medication, along with me.)

After Costco we went to Whole Foods, always a favorite. For those that don't know...They hide a stuffed frog somewhere in the store and if the kids find it, they get..and orange or apple or pencil...something fun. The kids love it. Well TODAY apparently the frog was on vacation, in Florida, so we spent 15 minutes wandering the store looking for that thing for no reason.  Carly Jo was having a hard time with this because...the frog is a TOY. She was pissed. Whatever...they gave them all a clementine anyway, probably to get them out of the store and so Carly Jo would cease the interrogation. (they obviously forgot about spring break too)

Now it is 10 and I just heard the last peep from their bedrooms.  I am TIRED.

She doesn't look tired

She looks ready to start some trouble

oh, she is laying down...must be tired.

ohh yeah..she is down.

I love having my kids home, but I am considering hiring a babysitter next time I need to do a full day of shopping while they are home. Tomorrow we are doing something way more fun than grocery shopping.

The life cycle of a migraine

Yesterday I had a migraine. A BIG one, the kind that made me want to lay in bed and roll around in agony, except rolling around would have made it worse.

Here is the funny part..well not funny haha but funny interesting. Friday, I had to pee every five minutes. Well at least it felt that way. I was at my friend Wendy's and I swear I must have peed 25 times. I think I even said to her "I think this is the 15th time I have peed." (we are close friends)
Anyway, there is a reason I am telling you this.. that should have been my first clue that I had a massive migraine coming. I always forget, and even though I think to myself "man I am peeing a lot" I FORGET, that last time that happened...The very next day I was wiped out with a migraine.

Migraines are awful creatures, and unlike headaches they don't just show up. They call to tell you they are coming, and then they hang around way too long.

So that was Friday, and like I said, I didn't even think about the peeing until just now. (when I sat down to pee).

So, Saturday started off really nice, Jim and I woke up and went to get milk while the kids were watching cartoons. We surprised them with Krispy Kreme. We cleaned up the house, sorted some laundry. Taylor and I even went out driving for about an hour while Jim and the girls took the Pilot to the carwash to wash off the mud hand prints. (yes my children finger painted my pilot with mud)

Jim and I went to buy a new shirt for my interview next week and then went to Chipolte while Taylor watched the kids.  It was at lunch that I started feeling my migraine creep in to destroy my day. The sun was crazy bright, and I felt like I was wearing someone else's contacts. I couldn't focus. I got home and took out my contacts and tried to ignore the pounding that was starting in my head.

We took the the kids for a walk around the block and by the time we got home I felt nauseous and was hearing every sound magnified. Imagine this, the birds were chirping and it was bugging me, the sun was shining and it was BUGGING ME. (seriously)
I tried to stay outside and play with the kids as long as I could. It was a BEAUTIFUL day, the kids were on driveway playing with chalk and playing tag, Jim was cleaning out the garage and I was sitting in the grass with the dog wishing I could crawl into a dark basement closet and fall into a coma.

Finally I gave in, I went into my bedroom got into my sweats, took a pill and lay down in my bed. I surfed the net for a little while until the light from the computer started making everything worse. It was 3 in the afternoon, and I was done for the day. At 8 I took another pain pill and by 9 I was beginning to feel a little relief.  Of course I was drugged up and by then the kids were going to bed. I got to kiss them good night at least. Depressing.

Today I feel like someone used my head for a soccer ball. I am foggy, I am sore, I am tired. On top of living in a fog,  I still feel the headache or at least an echo of the headache taunting me - threatening to come back. I feel like I need some sugar, or coffee, or something. Really,  I have no idea what I need. This is what they call postdrome or migraine hangover..and it is going to last all day.

I gave up eating pizza, lunch meat and hotdogs. I try not to eat preservatives and MSG's. I guess now it time to cut down on the chocolate and caffeine. (notice I said down not out, I am not that far yet)
I would love it if someone would come up with a fool proof solution. I know my family would love to have a mom with no migraines just as much as I would love to stop getting them!

If you get migraines and you have found something that works for you, let me know! And while you're at it... tell me if you pee a lot before you get a migraine....maybe I will google that.

Play Dates

I have never considered myself a "play-date" kind of mommy. I usually shy away from them. They are after all... purposefully and intentionally adding another kid to the mix of my already kid filled life. Sounds a little like a bottle full of crazy to me! Who would do that..and why?
But I have been venturing out..trying it...testing the waters. Today was the first time I had TWO kids over, one from Jayme's class and one from Carly Jo's class. I had no idea....this was the best idea ever.

Now I know why people do it, I got called "the best mom EVER" from TWO very happy little girls.

They all played crafts 

                                                            They all played barbies ...

                                                               Some played barbies....

                                                          While others played crafts

                                                    
                                                        EVERYONE played Peggle.

                and ONE had a really great afternoon with goldfish, Netflix and a nice rest all to herself!

This was great, there was no drama, there was no fighting. Just fun for everyone, okay well maybe Annabelle was sad, and wished she had a friend, but they all included her when she wanted to play and she is only 4. I have to draw the line somewhere!

So I change my mind, I just might be a play-date kind of mommy!

Next stop... SLEEP OVERS!

When did I get so stupid?

If you ask my kids they would tell you I know everything, how? I am a mom, we know everything. It is true, I admit it, I brainwash my kids. I think it is essential that so that as they grow they know they can depend on us, and most importantly they know they can't get one over on us. We need for them to believe we can almost read their minds so that we can get into their  kid brain and help them work through whatever is going on in there.  Taylor, for the LONGEST time would say..HOW do you KNOW these things? I just do..I know everything. Now I have McKenna saying it.
"MY MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING!"
And then, all of a sudden, the teenage child arrives. It was over night and BOOM. A bigger idiot there has never been. (me, of course, not her)  I went from the all seeing- all knowing mom to "that lady that is always talking in the background" and the woman who "knows nothing about this" (or that, or ANYTHING) I am 36 and old fashioned - go figure.
I can't decide if Taylor really thinks that I have no idea what I am talking about, or if she just really doesn't want to admit that I really am as smart as I think I am. She can be very convincing of my stupidity. Maybe she thinks if she admits it, then she loses her Teen Card. (my play on the "man card") I have learned to get crafty with my information seeking, and I have learned that if someone else tells her something, then she will believe it .  The proverb "a wise man surrounds himself with great counsel" is spot on.

There is nothing better than talking to Taylor about something, giving her my opinion  - usually arguing about why I feel that way - and getting brushed off.
No, that isn't the good part, the good part is hearing her say later that "so and so" said.... and hearing my words come out of her mouth!! EPIC WIN!!

I think it is a rite of passage with teenagers, we have to believe that our parents know nothing, so that we can test our wings and move out into the world without fear.
Even knowing that, it is hard not to be offended and take it personally, but I am getting used to it. I have accepted it and I think as long as I choose carefully the adults I put into my kids lives, then it will be fine.
It really is one of the most annoying things, how much drama could be saved if we would just take advice from someone who has been there before us.
Taylor will be 17 in a week and I think, the tide is turning, a little bit. Maybe?

                                           She is so pretty...someone else should tell her that!!!