Never underestimate the power of ... the JOJO

Taylor needed help putting up the tent for her sleep over that is coming up, it is a big tent and really a two person job. It is 92 degrees, feels like 103 so...well let's just say I wasn't up for helping her. I told her to ask Carly Jo..and she did.

And it worked.. 

She wears your patience at times,  but the kid has got some smarts, no denying.

 Kudos to Taylor for giving her a shot.

And Kudos to Carly Jo for ALWAYS being ready and willing to help anyone, for anything!

Summer is here

Today is June 1st  WHOOT WHOOT summer is officially here. We are in full swing, on our third day of "chore packs" and it is going great... It is 10:30 am and everyone is done with their chores and "free".
Here is our "star chart"

I have promised them that for every week we have  5 stars on the star chart we will do something  special as a family.
Now, I have to admit we set the bar pretty low, but I am here to tell you..kids don't need extravagant, they only want our time. Really. So, as long as we are doing something TOGETHER and both parents are participating, our kids think that is pretty special. Some or our "special" prizes might be.. a visit to the ice cream shoppe, pizza night, a sleep over in the living room, movie night (always fun) some Uno and popcorn, a day at Ernie Miller, Deanna Rose or perhaps..if I am drunk enough.. Chuck E Cheese.
(Of course I am totally almost joking about the drunk part...sortof...)

Here are some pictures of our chore packs

They aren't hard chores and I don't ask for perfection. What I am doing is trying to teach some responsibility, one step at a time. I am trying to keep it very age appropriate. I think it is working out quite nicely...

Being organized is a great thing. Jim helped me get started with the laundry on Monday and my intention..hckhm... is to do laundry everyday and avoid the great laundry mountain. We will see..

I also have to say the love couch works well, the girls are starting to understand the value of getting along and being helpful and cooperative to their sisters. ( they act like it anyway) Every time someone gets put in the love couch the remaining two start singing.. LOVE couch baby LOVE couch.. to the tune of love shack.. good times.

I am so excited to get the swim passes and visit the zoo.  Dad is going to take some vacation days so he can hang out with us.. This is when all the magic happens..

Hello Summer We LOVE YOU!!

Memo To Arnold

I am reposting this because I know a lot of you don't read Fox News..and probably don't subscribe to the Reagan Report... (grin) this is good... take a minute
No matter where we lay on the political line we can agree that the one true and great thing in this world is children. I think so often in the hype of scandal, the ones who get forgotten are the ones who don't get the voice or a quote in the tabloids.
We all can be superheros and so often that comes in the form of simply doing what is right. I hope Arnold stops being a bastard too...along with all the other fathers, mothers and grandparents who are not stepping up to the the plate as well.

Arnold: There Are No Illegitimate Kids, Just Illegitimate Parents.          By Michael Reagan

http://www.reagan.com/news/?memo-to-arnold-there-are-no-illegitimate-kids,-just-illegitimate-parents-553.html

My adoptive parents told me I was "chosen," but the kids at school told me I was a "bastard."

The recent headlines about Arnold Schwarzenegger's infidelities and the son he fathered out of wedlock have stirred many old memories and emotions.

I was four years old when I learned I was adopted. It was just before my sister Maureen's eighth birthday. I told her, "I know what you're getting for your birthday."

"Don't spoil the secret," she said. "If you tell me, I'm going to tell you a secret!"
Well, that was the wrong thing to say! I had to know what she was keeping from me! I said, "You're getting a blue dress for your birthday."

Maureen said, "And you were adopted."


I ran off to find our mother, Jane Wyman, in the den. I asked her, "What does 'adopted' mean?"
Mom's eyes flashed dangerously. "Where did you hear that word?" she asked.
After Mom finished dealing with Maureen, she sat me down and explained adoption to me. "You are a chosen child," she said, "and that makes you special. We love you very much."

I could tell that being "chosen" was a good thing. But I also realized for the first time that Mom wasn't my "real" mother—that I had another mother who had mysteriously given me away.

One day, when I was in the second grade, I got into a playground argument with another boy. We took turns one-upping each other. "I'm better than you," I said. "I'm special 'cause I was chosen! I was adopted!"

The other boy didn't know how to answer that, but the next day he came back to school and laughed at me. "My parents told me what 'adopted' means," he said. "You're not special—you're a bastard! Your real mother wasn't married, so she gave you away—bastard!"

That's when I realized there was something horribly wrong with me. I never again bragged about being "chosen," and I never again felt "special." But I did feel marked.

I wondered, "Why did my birth mother give me away? Was it because I'm a bastard?" I figured Mom couldn't have known I was illegitimate or she wouldn't have adopted me. And I didn't want her to find out!

When I returned home, I went to the library where Mom kept a huge leather-bound Bible. She'd once told me that the Bible had all the answers. I was seven years old and had never read the Bible on my own, so I turned to the back of the Bible to see if there was an index. Sure enough, I found the concordance.
I looked for the word "bastard"—and there it was. The concordance directed me to Deuteronomy 23:2, where I read: "A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord."

My heart froze. I thought those words meant, "A bastard can never go to Heaven. A bastard is damned to Hell, and so are his kids and grandkids, down to the tenth generation."
I snapped the book shut—and I didn't open a Bible again for more than twenty-five years. Of course, that verse had nothing to do with Heaven or Hell—but how could a seven-year-old understand such things?

I thought, "That's why my birth mother got rid of me! Nobody wants a child who's going to Hell! And Mom's so religious! If she finds out I'm going to Hell, she won't want me anymore!" So, at age seven, I began to hate myself—and God.

The story of my spiritual and emotional redemption—is in my book "Twice Adopted." But the story I'm thinking about now is the painful story of Arnold Schwarzenegger's son.

I keep hearing chattering heads on TV referring to the boy as Schwarzenegger's "illegitimate" son. It makes my blood boil. Listen, there's no such thing as an illegitimate child. There are only illegitimate parents.

And Arnold, I hope you read this: Your son is not the bastard. You're the bastard. You're the illegitimate parent.

I don't say that to insult you. I say it for your own good. I say it because you need to face these facts. You've been a bastard up till now, but you can change that. You can man up. You can sit down with your son, acknowledge him, apologize to him, admit that you failed him, promise to love him, and begin to protect him from ridicule.

That boy is going to need a lot of love and affirmation from his father. Why? Because the bastards in the media have gone after him, publishing horrible, humiliating stories, putting his picture on the Internet, subjecting him to ridicule at school.

Arnold, you've always played a hero in the movies. But now the whole world knows it was just an act. How would you like to be a real hero for a change?

It is time to stop being a bastard and start being a father.

Michael Reagan is the son of President Ronald Reagan. He is a political consultant, the founder and chairman of The Reagan Group, and president of The Reagan Legacy Foundation. Visit his website at www.reagan.com.Portions of this column are adapted from his book "Twice Adopted."

Perfected Gluten-Free Pancakes

I am sure I have told you how awesome my husband is, but I am going to say it again.

THE. BEST. EVER

He has worked hard to try and make a delicious gluten-free pancake for Carly Jo so that we can continue to enjoy our tradition of Saturday Morning Pancakes. By George I think he's got it.  Here we go:

• 1 1/2 cup white rice flour
• 1/2 cup potato starch
• 2 tablespoons granulated sugar
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon xanthan gum
• 2 large eggs
• 2 cup buttermilk
• 1 cup milk
• 1/4 cup butter (melted)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

In a medium bowl, whisk together dry ingredients. In a small bowl, whisk together wet ingredients. Pour the wet ingredients over the dry ingredients and whisk until combined, lumpy is okay.

Served with butter and organic maple syrup

• . 
• They taste just like they look, light and fluffy plus they have a faint taste of vanilla. 
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• This recipe was adapted from a recipe we found at seriouseats.com

Video Tuesday!

Sweet Belley!

Happy Tuesday!

Project Pickering

I am so ready for summer. I don't particularly like the direction of the breeze in this house, selfishness, rudeness, and a down right unhelpful attitude..so we are going to do something about it. I am sure it is due to the neglect of a franticly studying mom who is gone every night and a clean crazed woman on the weekends. But this isn't the dream I saw when I started this mothering journey. We have a motto in this house and it has been drummed into them since they could hear...(in uterine). Helpful and Loving..and really I am seeing none of that these days and I am saddened...

I want this to be my normal

So this summer we are implementing

Project Pickering

Step 1 Dinner
How did we stop eating at the table? I am still cooking, but some how we are eating separately..that happened gradually and I am not willing to let it go. Back to the Round Table Pickerings...rally round!

Step 2 Chore Packs
This is the best idea I have ever seen and it works so well, I got it from a lady named Teri Maxwell, she wrote a book called Managers of their Homes.  Here is it is in a nutshell...the kids have little clip on nametag badges, the kind with a slot on the top that you can put paper in... you know what I mean. Well..I put 1 -5 pieces of paper in them that have chores written out, (or pictures for non readers) and every day before they start their day, they have to complete their "chore pack" and give it to me when they are done. Things like.. Make your bed.. brush your teeth.. as well as Empty the dishwasher.. or Pick up the living room.  This is a good teacher of independent responsibility and a sense of responsibility to the house. LOVE IT...

Step 3  Whine Room
Self explanatory.. one room for whining, crying and throwing a fit. a room. WITH a DOOR...BY yourself, set the timer  come out when it goes off...IF you are finished. I do not speak Whinese...

Step 4 Love Couch
I used to do this all the time and I have gotten away from it since the kids have gotten older.. I am not sure why but..I like it. When my kids fight, argue, or be hateful and nasty to each other then they can visit the "LOVE COUCH." They sit on the couch ( the one made for two) and hold hands for 5 minutes,  after 5 minutes each sister will say one special thing that they really like about the other. They can hug and say I love you and get up. OR they can stay on the couch for 5 more minutes, holding hands of course.

Step 5 Family Game Night
One night a week.. all of us..(even Taylor if she is home) will sit at the table eat a fun dinner and play games. My kids need to learn to lose and be happy for whoever beat them...this is something that has to be taught... BUY US. The same as winning and being a happy and gracious winner.

Step 6  Mom Time
This is my favorite. Field trips, swimming, reading, snuggling, math flashcard, Hooked On Phonics cooking, baking, sleeping in, walking, nature hikes, bike rides, Movies, a summer full of mommy love.

Without this.. what are we fighting for?

Cookies

My love whipped up his first batch of Gluten free Chocolate Chip Cookies today. They are fabulous! Great Job Jimmy! I think I could safely say that if we did a taste test, no one would be able to tell the difference between this gluten free cookie and a regular cookie. 

Disclaimer, the flour is made with garbanzo beans and if you are thinking of licking the bowl, spoon, beater or ANYTHING with uncooked dough, Think hard on that.. Not good. not good AT ALL.

I was so scared to eat the actual cookie because of my experience with the dough...Truly.. gag.

BUT I am glad I did because he really knocked it out to the park. Once the flour is cooked, all the tastes meld together for delicious treat! A true success! Once again I will sing the praise of my husband who is just really, that awesome!

Here is how he did it. 

2 1/4 cups Bobs Red Mill Gluten Free Baking Flour

1 teaspoon xanthan gum

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 sugar, approximately 

1 1/4 C dark brown sugar

1 whole egg

1 egg yolk

2 tablespoons whole milk

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips

2 teaspoons cinnamon

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

Melt the butter in a heavy-bottom medium saucepan over low heat. Once melted, pour into the bowl of a stand mixer.

In a medium bowl, sift together  flour, xantham gum, salt and baking soda. Set aside.

Add both of the sugars to the bowl with the butter and using the paddle attachment, cream together on medium speed for 1 minute. Add the whole egg, egg yolk, milk and vanilla extract and mix until well combined. Slowly incorporate the flour mixture until thoroughly combined. Add the chocolate chips and stir to combine. 

Scoop 1 tbsp of batter on cookie sheet 6 per cookie sheet, (these are big suckers!)


adapted from http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/the-chewy-gluten-free-recipe/index.html

Another step on our gluten free journey

Gluten Free Pancake

2 cups stoneground yellow cornflour

1/2 cup rice flour

3 tablespoon sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

almost 2 cups buttermilk 

(start with 1 1/2 and added more to your liking)

1 cup water 

1/4 cup vegetable oil

1 large egg


Can thin out to your desired thinness

(we like ours thicker)

 In a large bowl, combine the cornmeal, rice flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In a medium bowl, beat the buttermilk, water, oil and egg with a fork until blended. Add to the cornmeal mixture and mix until lumps are eliminated. 

Butter your griddle and fry those puppies up!

This morning Jim found a way to keep our Saturday Morning tradition alive, despite the inability of Carly Jo to eat gluten. They had a hint of corn, but not like corn bread and the consistency was close to a real pancake but a slightly grainy, but not offensive. 
If you are going to eat them without syrup, you should add more sugar; once we added the grade a dark amber syrup, the sweetness was just right. I have put the recipe in here in case anyone wanted to try it.  

I love that my JP is on this train with me, next he wants to try chocolate chip cookies! YUM!

On a side note, both JP and I have seen noticeable signs that removing the gluten from Carly Jo's diet is working. She does her work, she can stay focused (more so than usual) and her hyperactivity has toned down. I am waiting until summer to get her into a psychologist and get her tested for learning challenges...but I am happy that we have taken the daunting (and expensive) task of removing the gluten first. It gives me peace in my heart to know I am doing what I need to for Carly Jo. Whatever else comes, I can be satisfied knowing that I am TCB on my end. 

Battle Scars

Some kids get hurt all the time, like..Carly Jo.  Carly Jo just pops up with an "I'm OKAY" and keeps  playing. Some kids are more cautious, like Jayme.  When Jayme gets hurt, it is really a sad and pathetic deal. She is so sad...so HURT physically and has taken a big hit to her pride.  It is hard to tell which hurts worse. So you can imagine...the first big bike tumble and it was a major catastrophe.. And because I love her so much..it is a hard time for momma too!

She is refusing to go outside

She is refusing to go to school

She doesn't want anyone to see her..and she wanted to make sure I wasn't going to post these pictures on facebook..(what??)

                      hmm.. my reputation precedes me.

She didn't say anything about my blog though.. (Well...SHE DIDN'T)

It took 2 chapters of Junie B Jones, a WHOLE brownie, lots of kisses and about 45 minutes to convince Jayme that what she has are some pretty awesome battle scars.

I told her that back in the days of warriors and villages,  the warriors were judged on the greatness of their wounds and that they served to prove how brave they were. I told her that no one was going to think she was ugly..they were going to think that she was pretty darn brave.  I also told her Daddy had magic, and he could make it better quicker..

The things I can come up with....


 Well it worked and she is back in the saddle..swingset not bike just yet..but I will take it.

As for the reputation of taking my private world and putting it out there for the world to see...guilty. But she will someday appreciate it...RIGHT!? ;)

And then there is this...

I always knew that Carly Jo was a special one. It seems like from the first day she was with us there has just been ... something about her. As she became a toddler it was OBVIOUS she was going to be a doozy. Always getting into things..going a mile a minute watching every move we made and most of all... NOT overly impressed with the tv, movies, computer. She always is the one in trouble always the one that is living on the edge of that very last nerve of mine. SUPER sweet..super sensitive...and smart..but..not very attentive or an easy learner.

So it really wasn't a shock that in our last parent teacher conference the teacher indicated that she was worried that something wasn't "clicking" in Sweet Carly Jo's brain. Perhaps we should consider getting her tested for ADD. Don't they say that about every kid who doesn't fit the mold? Well..normally I would say yes, but I don't think this teacher is "one of those" as a matter of fact I am quite sure she isn't. And I truly believe she has Carly Jo's best interest in mind and only wants the very best for her. So that helps..

AND PLUS... well I have been living with Carly Jo for 6 years now so, I get it.

Even though that should have been a DUH moment... it still hurt. Who wants to admit that something might be "broken" in their child? Who wants to admit that there is a chance that everything academically is going to be a challenge, a struggle and a fight? Surely not me...but it is time..or is it? Truth is, I love this little kid to the point of actual pain. She is completely unbelievable, at times..not so much in a good way..but most of the time..she is just...I can't explain it. You just really have to know her to fully appreciate...

But back to ADD....

I have no idea where to even start, do I start at the Primary Dr.? And then what do I say? "My 6 year old is having a hard time concentrating." That seems a little ridiculous. Yet it is apparent to me, and everyone around that there is an issue that should be addressed in some capacity.  Do I take her to a phsycologist? A Neurosurgeon? Does it have to be solved with drugs, there has to be a better way..but if drugs end up being the only way.. then can I find a way to be okay with that?

I am going to try and cut out the gluten in our diets..but that is WAAAAY easier said than done. I can also cut out on the processed sugars, there isn't much of that anyway.

I am reading a book now, that a friend gave me on Friday, called Different Learners. That seems like a pretty good place to start, we will see if I can get some good stuff out of there.

I have to find peace with whatever I do, and find a way to find comfort in the fact that we will do the right thing for Carly Jo. And get over this horrible feeling in my gut...is it..Failure? is it defeat? Sadness?

I don't know. I guess I didn't REALLY expect for all my kids to come out perfect....did I? Didn't I?  DIDN'T I??

I read somewhere that most of the worlds top businessmen and inventors have ADD
Some also claim that - Beethoven, Da Vinci, Ansel Adams and Hans Christian Anderson - are all thought to have had it as well...Maybe it is a sign of Genius...

Motherhood

Sitting in the Drs. office waiting for Taylor to finish up her appointment. This office has no internet so I can’t do my homework.. 

it is Tuesday (you know what that means) no kids to bug me, my time for a shower, or to drink coffee in peace and quiet, to reflect, to do homework or clean my house..something by myself for myself to center me in my crazy world. Yet here I sit.  I have been here doing nothing for 45 whole minutes. I HATE wasting my “no kid time.”

SOO, I  blog. ... normally I am not a Dr. kind of girl. I don’t take my kids to monthly well baby checks, I never have. I don’t know how big their heads were or what percentage they were in their age groups at 3, 4, and 5 months. When they have an earache I give them sweet oil in the ear and Tylenol and wait for the body to heal itself, it normally does. UTI’s are the exception to this rule. My girls are prone and those things just flat suck so, we get those straightened out right away. And of course there is the allergy shots, but those cannot be avoided either since Carly Jo is allergic to every tree, every weed, every mold spore and ever dust mite. (did you know there were two types? Well, there is some free education.) I am very happy to say she is not allergic to any food. (even though I started her on milk before the Dr.’s suggested time)  

ANYWAY, where was I? Oh yes, we are on a one time a year schedule, yearly check ups so they can tell me everything is great and my kids are growing nice and tall. I get one, Jim gets one, all the kids get one too!

So that being said, I have the hardest time when one of my kids is complaining about something...should I take them to the Dr. or should I load them up with vitamins and see what happens. Taylor has been complaining about her lower back hurting (left side no appendix scares. So I gave her some ibuprofen and an icepack and told her it was a pulled muscle most likely. Fast forward to day 3, she has woken me up at 4 am for the last two night almost in tears.. okay probably not a pulled muscle, so here we are. 

I am waiting to see what the diagnosis is and to find out, if indeed, I should have just taken her to the Chiropractor,should have skipped the Dr. and should be drinking a Chai Latte right now

It is so hard to know. 


As mother’s we really are expect to have some sort of advanced medical degree, Mom, my leg hurts, whats wrong? Mom, do I need stitches? Mom, how many Advil can I take? Mom, my tummy hurts. Mom, what is this rash? Mom, get this splinter out. 


There are two paths we can follow. Either we become neurotic and drag them to the Dr.. for every sniffle, runny nose, ache and pain ...OR we ignore them and shove them full of vitamins only to realize that they have had Acute Bronchitis for the last month. Both are bad, where is the happy medium? Where is my handbook?  Seriously I think a ton has to be said about following my instincts, but what if they fail me? Sometimes mommy guilt is so overwhelming. 

BUT..back to now... we are at the Dr. and I am waiting, waiting to see if Taylor has a kidney stone, a bladder infection, a pulled muscle or if she just needs to stop drinking monsters and drink more water because she is dehydrated, or stretch before she does her daily 3 mile walk around Overland Park. Part of me is thinking that this had better be serious because I am giving up my two hours of "me time" to sit here in this waiting room, breathing germs and sickness into my body and bathing in antibacterial gel. But the other part is asking the universe to make sure this ISN'T serious. I want my child healthy and happy so she will be able to MOVE OUT OF MY HOUSE, go to college and live a long  and prosperous life, because without that none of this matters.

So annoying. 

I never wanted to be a nurse or a chemist..or detective but motherhood has thrust all these jobs upon me and then some. It is alright though....the pro's still out weigh the cons, for now. 


Check back with me in 10 years that will be the tell.

My guy

Marriage is hard. 

Life throws curve balls, and sometimes things don't turn out like we hope. 

But for better or worse, this is my guy. 

He is pretty awesome. 

Thanks for neglecting all "your stuff" this weekend to work on mine! 

I love you, Jimmy.